


oh, catastrophe

by azumarheart



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, a look into Five’s 45 years in the apocalypse, dolores and five against the end of the world, what he does and how he copes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-08-20 18:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20232436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azumarheart/pseuds/azumarheart
Summary: He knows she’s not real, but he believes it. The two are different, and while he can’t prove that she is alive and concious, he can’t make an equation to work it out, he still believes. There’s not much worse to believe in at this point.AKA a look into Five’s life during the apocalypse, and the lengths he has to go to survive





	oh, catastrophe

**Author's Note:**

> (Is it bad that I keep changing the published date on this in hopes more people read it? It’s one of my favorite works but it’s so unnoticed 😭)
> 
> Started this, stopped, then picked it up yesterday and could not stop writing till I finished lol
> 
> I love TUA and I love Five and I want more details about how he coped and survived in the apocalypse
> 
> Title from “Oh, Catastrophe” by Crown the Empire from my emo days

He knows Dolores isn’t real. Obviously. It took a few years of solitude before she started to talk to him, and even he laughed at how crazy he was going. 

But Dolores was the closest thing he had to someone else: the only possibility of not being alone. 

Dolores had a soft voice at first, that was almost shy. Over time, as Five traveled through ash and scoured through rubble, she got louder. More confident, more sure of herself. While Five began to construct a makeshift house, Dolores began to chatter on and on and it made Five smile. The world around him had been so silent before her, and now he had Dolores to fill the space. (He’s not crazy. He knows it’s just as quiet as it had been before meeting Dolores. She’s not real. [But what is real anymore?]). 

So Five builds and collects and journeys and talks. He talks to Dolores, and the Batman figurine from the last destroyed supermarket (or so he thinks it was? either that or a homeless shelter). The Batman toy doesn’t talk back, but Dolores makes up a funny voice for him and it makes Five laugh. 

A week later, he accidentally drops the toy somewhere along the road when venturing out to scrounge for food. Dolores doesn’t say anything for a few days, and Five holds her a little closer at night. He can tell she misses Batman. He misses his family.

He celebrates his 21st birthday somewhere between Maryland and Virginia. Other people in his position would probably forget to count the days. But Five was always meticulous, and he’s been tracking data since he arrived in the future. 

After finding a wine cellar deep below an estate, he gets wasted and spends the night dancing with Dolores. She giggles as he twirls her around, and laughs when he can’t stand straight anymore. 

It’s one of the only times she enjoys an intoxicated Five. He gets a bit crazy and delirious in his thirties and spends most of the fall in a drunken haze. When he snaps out of it, Dolores is quiet, but angry and hurt. He moderates himself from then on. 

He tries to head down South during the winter, but the winter is honestly unpredictable. The climate is fucked to hell and back, so sometimes he ends up in the heat when he’s not expecting it. 

He ended up experiencing a Florida summer during December and almost died. The humidity was ramped up and the sun was brutal, and he was forced to hide out in a condo beachside for a while. 

It wasn’t too awful; there were hand held fans from the previous owners. And the beach, which once came closer to the buildings, was a few miles out and resembled a lake more than anything. The lack of moon kinda prevented tides from being a thing. The water was tinged red from some chemical imbalance, but he managed to take a dip every once in a while. If he swam out about a mile, the water was slightly cool, which was a great reprieve from the constant heat. 

The thing is that everything was dead and scorched and wrecked in the apocalypse. But the further he went from New York, the less direct impact there was on things like buildings. There was damage, yes, and natural structural decay, but nothing quite like the ruins of his hometown. 

So in places like Florida, he could find decent lodging. For the apocalypse at least. Plus, there were more clothing options available, which meant he got to treat Dolores more often. He lived to hear that pleased and fond tone she spoke in whenever he gave her a new gift. 

Despite the jokes he’s sure his brothers would have made, his relationship with Dolores was never sexual. They were more... companions through life rather than lovers. He loved her desperately, because he needed to. Lest he go insane being alone. Likewise, Dolores wasn’t real unless he was there to hear her. 

He gave her life, and she made his worth living.

One summer, during his early 40s, he makes his way to Canada. The seasons seemed to be getting slightly more predictable, and Dolores mentioned how there was probably frozen food up there. He’s able to gather lots of supplies, and spends a few weeks in an oddly preserved log cabin. Sure, there’s no roof and 2 1/2 walls instead of 4, but it’s better than some other places he’s stayed in. 

He goes sledding on some metal wreckage he finds, and spends the day with Dolores in his lap, her cackling in his ears. He makes a snow angel that’s half snow, half general-apocalypse-dust, and stares at the cloudy atmosphere. 

He can kind of see the sun, and daydreams about his family. Thinks about that winter where they snuck out at night and laid on the rooftop. Watched the snowflakes fall from the sky, lit up by the moonlight. Ben’s laugh, Klaus’s uncharacteristic silence, Vanya’s smile, Allison finally including herself, Luther joining in instead of telling Reginald. 

He misses them.

He’s been spending a lot of time thinking of them lately.

On his way back towards the states, a blizzard hits, and he finds himself trekking through it. Dolores sits, bundled up behind, as he pulls along all his belongings. He ends up having to borrow a coat from her: only one, despite her insistence that he take more. He has to throw out a few books as well, and barely makes it to a shelter without hypothermia. 

As it is, his toes nearly snap off, but he manages to save them. Dolores chastises him through the rest of the day, but whispers during the night how happy she is that he survived. 

He knows she’s not real. But reality is pretty fucked at this point, so what’s a little imagination? She’s the only thing keeping him going. 

After that debacle back in Canada, he decides to settle the best he can. He heads back to New York, and sets up shop in the remains of the library at the age of 45. The building is mostly crumbled, but there are some surviving books, and he’s brought a lot from his travels. He’s also gathered a lot of food, and figured out ways to make sustainable meals, so he figures he can last here a while.

It grows boring, and he uses the knowledge he’s gained from the books he’s read and starts to work on an equation to get back home. The last ten years he spends in the apocalypse are spent working on it. 

It drives him a little bit mad, and a little bit manic, and he takes up drinking again. Dolores, of course, gets mad, but Five finds himself in and out of caring. As the days continue, with the monotony of the world around him, he picks fights with Dolores just to have something to do. She knows this, and never lashes back at him. It takes two to argue, so she keeps quiet and calm until he realizes how childish he’s acting. He apologizes and cries and she holds him right back and whispers words of love and affirmation. It gets better.

He misses traveling, because exploring kept his mind off the bleak prognosis of his future. But his body is growing too old and too worn to travel like he used to. When he groans over his wrinkles and stiff knees, Dolores compliments them and makes him feel proud of all he’s accomplished. 

He feels moderately close to the solution, but never quite gets there, because suddenly, The Handler appears. For a moment or two, he genuinely thinks he’s lost it. 

It’s one thing to hear Dolores, and know it’s not real. It’s another to fully hallucinate a woman he’s never seen before, who engages in full dialogue. 

She offers him freedom from his personal hell for the small price of 5 contracted years. 

Five doesn’t see another option out of his situation. He’s running low on food, and his back aches, and he doesn’t think he’s going to last much longer in his camp. And if he’s being honest? The equation isn’t as close to finished as he wants it to be. 

He looks back at Dolores, and she gives him a soft smile and a softly spoken encouragement.

So he signs the contract and is whisked away through time.

——

He never sees the full inside of the commission. The time period outside is always changing, but the inside is always the same. There’s floors and elevators, but he’s only allowed into certain sections. 

He mainly has access to the briefcase floor, where he checks in at the desk before each mission. 

It doesn’t matter much to him; he doesn’t plan to stay here long enough to make his way up the ranks. 

Between missions, he’s stuck in a standard boarding room in the back of the building, and he frantically scratches out math, in hopes to find his way back. 

He knows that The Handler won’t let him change the apocalypse, or the death of his siblings. He’s smarter than that. But being able to live out the rest of his life in a comfortable place doesn’t matter if his siblings aren’t there beside him. 

So he goes out and kills, looks down the barrel of his gun, and ends lives. He cries for a long time after his first kill, and wishes Dolores was with him to comfort him.

After his 20th kill, he goes to bed and sleeps fine. 

He kills all types of people: butchers, scientists, grocery clerks, politicians. The do-gooders of the world always leave a bad taste in his mouth, and he lies awake hating himself. Five had to kill a kindergarten teacher once, and spent the rest of the night puking. 

He draws the line at children though. They try to give him a case early on to kill the daughter of a prominent celebrity. He lines up the shot, and chokes. She looks too similar to Vanya, with the long brown hair, bangs, and button nose. Five packs up his kit and leaves. 

It’s the only mission he’s ever failed.

After that, the only give him people above the age of 18, which is fine by him. He ends up climbing through the ranks without meaning too, and is lining up his shot at JFK when...

It hits him. 

The solution is planted in his head and he lowers his gun to scribble it out in his book. It’s not perfect, and he can’t get all the way back to the day he left. But he can go back with just enough time to stop the apocalypse. 

His heart starts pounding, and he knows there’s no time to waste. He’s 58 as is, and his body is feeling more sore by the day. He has 2 years left on his contract, so he knows the chances of him being able to disappear quietly isn’t possible. The commission doesn’t monitor him as closely when he’s on a mission, but he is the top killer in their business. He’ll accept the risks that come with other contracted killers coming after him.

He can’t wait to get home.

Five gathers his power, which he’s been storing for this day. He forces his body through time, and it’s like a hot blast of air, but chilling all the same. He feels like he’s being ripped apart, and put together, and suddenly he’s falling from the sky onto the ground. 

When he pulls himself up, he’s staring at his siblings, all grown up and not dead, and he’s in his 13 year old body.

He has eight days to stop the apocalypse.

He’s survived 32 years traveling in the apocalypse, 10 years slaving over his equations in the library of his hometown, and 3 years killing for an organization that will never give him what he wants. What he needs. 

Five is going to make it. And this time, he won’t be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this!! Comments are always appreciated 💕


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